The Legend of Zelda but funnier & Wierder
by Music Luv33r
Summary: A I guess you could say... Zelda Parody but its a funny Story and you should read it, please review.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Zelda wake up you lazy Princess!" yelled Link.

"Shut up! I am trying to get my beauty sleep!" said Zelda Sleepily.

"I guess you could sure use some but it won't help. You're permanently ugly!" Link said sarcastically.

"Fine, fine…"

Zelda got up and got dressed in the privy.

"God Link, learn how to Flush the Toilet, oh no I think it's clogged!" yelled Zelda.

"It was that breakfast burrito you made me, it gave me food poisoning!"

"Well come in here and fix it!"

"Do it yourself you lazy Cow!" yelled Link back Annoyed.

"No, I am not putting my hands down there!"

"Then call the plumber!"

"Cell phones haven't been invented yet you idiot!"

"Fine, I will go find a plumber!" said Link and hurried off not wanting to here anymore rambling from Zelda, she has multiple personality disorder.Link Wandered out onto the deck and fell through the floor.

"Darn it, why hasn't this been fixed yet!" Link Shouted.

"I don't know and I don't care. Why do you always have to treat me this way, I think we should phone Doctor Phil?!"

"We don't need no Doctor, we can solve our problems on our own"

"Ughh!" muttered Zelda and went inside. Link Traveled for many days and nights until he took a detour through a Temple.

"Awe, look it's a little Nintendog. Ah it bit me you little mutt!" Suddenly the Nintendog grew to be as big as Lord Jub-Jub!"

Link booked it out of the temple.

"I'm never going back there again" Link Traveled on through Kakariko Village then up to Death Mountain which Nearly Fried Him and finally he Made it to Mushroom Kingdom!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Link walked around Mushroom Kingdom and visited all the tourist attractions. Out of no where Zelda magically appeared on to the scene.

"How did you get here so fast?!" said Link Confused.

"I teleported here using my triforce of wisdom"

"Where do I get one of those? All I have is the triforce of Courage. All it does is glow"

"You can get one off of Ebay. There going for like 30 rupees but you better bid fast because there selling like hot cakes! When I was there I also bought a Nintendo Wii, Twilight Princess, and these leather hooker boots!"

"Twilight Princess is out! OMG! I've been waiting for that game for months, but anyways back to business"

Link and Zelda took Britney Spears's tour bus up to the Castle. Link knocked on the big wooden door.

"Hello, is anyone home?" Zelda yelled.

"I'm Naked so Don't Come in!" said a Voice with a fake Italian accent.

"Is that you Mario?" Zelda said

"Yes it is!" said Mario as he walked out of the Castle wearing a shirt and what seemed to be and adult diaper.

"Mario we are here for your services" said Link.

"I see… another clogged toilet?"

"Unfortunately. Link was the one who clogged it up though"

"But it was because of your dang breakfast burritos!" yelled Link.

"Don't you start with me again!"

"People, people, calm down you're starting to sound like a married couple. Have you two considered seeing Doctor Phil?" said Mario.

"No, Link says we can work are problems out on our own"

"Ok, if you say so, but anyways lets go back to your crib and fix the toilet"


	3. Chapter 3

**I warn you... Chapter three is not as exciting and funny sa Chapter 1 & 2**

**Chapter 3**

On the way back they stopped at the store to pick up a few things. Mario got a Shiny brand new plunger, Zelda got new recipe for breakfast burritos, and Link got a half a chocolate bar.

"Why do I have to always get used stuff? For My Birthday I got used clothing from the Salvation Army and for Christmas I got used toilet paper! By the way, who used it before me?"

"Ummm, that doesn't matter lets continue back to our… crib" said Zelda. Zelda was singing on the way back to there house when they bumped into Ryan Seacrest.

"Have you every Considered going on American Idol?" Ryan Asked Zelda.

"Yeah I have but I never thought I was good enough"

"Well truth is, you suck but we would love to put you on for laughs!"

"WHY YOU I WILL HURT YOU, AHHHH" Zelda came at him with a rabbit she picked up off the ground.

"Oh wait, I can't use a rabbit" said Zelda. So Instead she stole Links bow for the Second Time and started to shoot light arrows at Seacrest. Ryan kept on running avoiding the arrows all the way to the Twilight Realm.

"Should we follow her?" asked Mario.

"Nah, she'll be back later" replied Link. So link and Mario continued back to there house.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Link and Mario arrived back at Link and Zelda's house.

"What the Heck is that thing?!" said Link. There was a black imp lying on his couch watching re-runs of Seinfeld and family guy.

"Hey, I'm Midna. Is this your place? It's pretty tight"

"What are you doing lying on my bed? Zelda just made that"

"I'll let you talk to… whatever that thing is while I go fix the toilet" and Mario let the room to go fix the toilet.

Midna and Link were still talking when they heard.

"MUMA MIA THAT'S A BIGGA POOP!" from the bathroom.

"Sorry about that..." yelled Link back to the bathroom.

"It was the Breakfast Burrito wasn't it?" Midna said.

"Yeah, it was the Breakfast Burrito"

Zelda was in the twilight realm trying to shoot Ryan Seacrest when she got distracted and went into the castle.

"Hello is any one home?" she walked all the way to the throne room and opened the door to find that Ganondorf and Zant were having a tea party.

"A tea party?" said Zelda.

"This always helps us think up evil schemes and crap" said Ganondorf.

"Oh, I see"

"But now that you're here why don't you stay a while…" said Zant as the doors banged shut behind Zelda.

"Wait let me out of Here" Zelda cried as she banged on the Steel Doors.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Finally Mario fixed the toilet.

"I'm done!" said Mario.

""Finally, How long did that take? Like three years" said Link sarcastically.

"Hey, where's Midna… she was lying on that couch earlier" asked Mario.

"Oh, she had to work. Did you know she's a hooker! I think I am gonna ask for her services!" Link replied.

"I see… But where is Zelda, shouldn't she be back by now" said Mario.

"Yeah, She usually comes back around dinner time"

"I think we should go look for her!" said Mario worriedly.

"Ok, we will… just after I eat some of that half eaten chocolate bar!" Link Declared.

Mario slapped his hand to his forehead.

"Oh god, what have I got my self into"

Zelda kept banging on the doors for literally an hour.

"Are you done yet?" asked Ganondorf. Zelda stopped banging on the doors.

"Yeah, I'm good now but you'll never take me alive! War Cry!" Zelda replied.  
Zelda let out a violent scream and charged Zant.

Zant jumped out of the way and countered with a beam of black magic. Zelda used Naryu's Love to send the magic flying back into him.

"Zelda I never new you could fight back! You usually just stand there with a glazed look and let us capture you!" said Ganondorf surprised.

"Yeah well I am done being a damsel in distress now I take my Final Stand!" Zelda took out her bow and light arrows and started to shoot them at Ganondorf. She hit him, took out her longshot and pointed it at him. She shot and it went right into him magically not even hurting him the slightest bit, the she took out her Sword and started smashing his head screaming the Hyrulian War Women cry. After she repeated that step about five hundred times he finally kicked the bucket. Zelda and Zant stood there for about Ten minutes glaring at each other.

"What's happening, Ganondorf hasn't transformed into Ganon yet?" asked Zelda.

"He's out of Magic and he can't find anymore by cutting the grass" said Zant.

"Oh I see…"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Zelda shot a ball of magic at Zant. Zant shot a ball of Twilight magic at Zelda. The two balls collided with tremendous force and exploded sending Zelda and Zant flying in Two Separate directions. Zelda landed in the middle of Link and Zelda's house putting a huge whole in the ceiling. She fell against one of the floor boards and sent Mario flying up back to mushroom kingdom.

"Surprisingly… I expected that would happen" said Link.

"What are you a Gypsy or something? Come help me up!"

"One Second, I haven't finished my chocolate bar yet…"

"Oh my"

And Zelda and Link lived… happily ever after I guess you could say.

PLEASE REVIEW!!


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